I've been feeling that this evening. Because I feel that things aren't very stable with social security I had been planning to pull my occupational therapy license out of escrow this year (my last chance before it expires) so that if I need to work a few hours I week I had that to fall back on, despite not thinking I really can work. Anyway I read the rules again and found small print indicating that since I haven't worked in over 5 years that to get my license back I would have to take extreme measures like re-taking my board exam (no way I could pass pediatrics 17 years after last using it) and the fees are more than double what I thought. So, no go there. Kind of a relief but mostly makes me really sad that as of June 30 I'll lose my license for good and just be "retired". At 41 years old.