I think the legal aspects of the marriage contract clouds what marriage really is.
It's a promise that two people make to each other at that point in time , to love , cherish etc.........They should leave out the " till death do us part" , since you only have a 50%
chance of that happening. We tend to think of our partner in this contract will feel the same about us forever. That's just not reality. We do not OWN someone else like property. Things change over time. People change.
My experience is that if I invested as much into my own personal growth , as I did into someone else's or the marriage for that matter , I would have been well prepared for what was to come. Blindsided. Totally caught off guard. Total powerlessness.
It hurt. It hurt so much I almost went over the cliff. Then I was forced into the concept of REALITY and out of the dream world I was living in. Being forced to face my own shortcomings , I grew to the point of at least being able to understand how to put myself before anyone else.
Not in a selfish way but in a survival way.
It takes time. It takes help from others. It takes work.
That hurt will always be there. It's like losing a loved one to death.
Hang on tight to life. You will get through this. You will prevail.

God bless you in your journey.