(just kept the questions)
I'd consider mine long term (5+ years now). Mine has definitely changed over time. Both physically, as in I saw her in person for a year, then did phone sessions for 2.5 years, now seeing her in person again for 1.5 years, and emotionally I guess - I guess I would say the emotional intensity has changed? Not sure that is right. (it's early!) the relationship between me and t has definitely evolved over time. We had one major rupture during the phone session time which I think strengthened the 'us' that I feel. And I'm starting to really find that 'us' inside of me, like as a place inside me that I can draw from. I do still feel it is effective, but lately (as I've been posting about) I've undergone another change - I've let go the fantasies I had about the relationship, the whole wanting it to be more thing, and that has changed how I see t, and has changed my attachment to her, etc and we are talking about that as an ongoing topic right now. I do for the first time ever see an ending coming with her. I'm taking it slowly though, because I want to be sure I'm not just running away from something I should work on, but instead moving forward into a life beyond therapy. How do you know when you are done? I wonder this too. I think for me, the answer is starting to form. I know that I will never be "done" with this work, no one ever is, but - I'm getting the feeling here lately that while the work itself is never done, there is going to come a time when I no longer need or wish to pay someone to help me do it - I've got the tools, this 'inner work' has become a part of who I am, I have a group of friends (my shamanic group) who are all doing their own 'inner workings' during our journey circles where I spend time and do a lot of good work and we support each other, and I do a lot of good workings-out here on PC too, etc. But even saying that, how do you know? I am still not sure... if I picture her office as a nest and me as a baby bird, getting ready to fly for the first time - in the past, I've tried to picture it that way and just see myself jumping off the edge of the nest and tumbling to the ground. Right now, in that image, I fly... and feel free and it's exhilarating and all but lonely too. So I'm getting ready to go, but I'm not quite there yet. I guess. I don't know how you know. Sorry for rambling.