Do you see a therapist?
Are you taking meds?, have a pdoc?
Can you make an appointment to see them?
I am concerned that you have a plan. May I suggest that you write a contract with your hubby.
Does he understand how you feel?
I am sorry about your feelings.
Please be kind to yourself.
What comforting things have worked to sooth yourself?
Hug and kiss your hubby every day.
Shoot hug yourself too. It feels good and you are available 24/7
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi