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I've never been abused, but I think I feel the same way you do. I keep putting off getting the pap. I've never been in a relationship. I fear sex.

So, I don't know if you have this aversion thing, but I do know you're not alone. Sorry I couldn't help more.

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It is really nice to know that someone else can understand. I feel like such a freak! Have you ever been to a therapist about it?