Hello x6500430x: I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. Unfortunately, I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer here. Actually your wife & I have something in common. I also have a tendency to go into unreasonable rages periodically. And my poor wife has to try to figure out how to handle them. Fortunately in our case these episodes don't occur too often.

From my perspective, I don't know as there is anything in particular you could do to have a positive impact on this situation. From what you wrote, it sounds as though you're doing the best you can. In fact it sounds as though you're doing a lot more than many husbands would be willing or able to do. So kudos to you for that. From what you wrote it does sound as though your wife might benefit from therapy... & perhaps prescription medication. I know from personal experience that psych med's & therapy aren't always greatly helpful. But I also don't personally feel that self-medicating is the answer either.

Ideally, I suppose, what would be best would be if your wife would see a therapist with whom she can talk through what is going on with her & possibly a psychiatrist for consideration of psychiatric medications (antidepressants or other psych med's.) And in addition to that perhaps the two of you might be able to see a marriage & family therapist. However, as you well know, you can't force your wife to do anything she's not willing to do. So perhaps the "fall-back position" here is for you to consider seeing a counselor or therapist yourself so that you can figure out if there are ways you can better handle what is going on as well as how you want to proceed from here on. Simply having someone with whom you can share, on an ongoing basis, what you're experiencing can be wonderfully helpful even if it doesn't produce any tangible results.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!