There is loving the person for what they bring into your life. That's the logical thing I tell myself and I do believe that.

There is also the transference at play. I found once that this love I was feeling was love of myself. That one part of the transference was how I feel about myself. I have lots of maternal transference going on too...but maybe that isn't always in relationship to my mother..maybe sometimes it is in relationship to the adult me..the whole me? Idk I'm trying to figure this out some myself. I just remember the one time when I was feeling so much love for t..then out of the blue came...I love me...instead of I love you...then came...you know what, I'm pretty awesome.

I'm right there with ..at getting angry at t. I've even come to realize the difference of being angry at verse with t. When I'm angry at t, she hasn't done anything wrong...I am throwing angry at her. Means I have work to do.

Anyway, everything you've posted here seems par for the course. Sorry and glad I think that you are going through it. ..cuz it seems to be the general path.