Have you considered that you fall somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum scale? You clearly know what you want, and you know the obstacles in your way. Perhaps you should undergo testing, and seek counseling in the specific areas you want to improve. It seems that cognitive behavioral therapy might help. For instance, you describe yourself as arrogant and this arrogance may put people off. You might try restraining yourself when you feel like saying something arrogant as this would not help in social situations.

You also talk about having a friend, or possibly a wife, or going home to be with your family -- but all of these in relation to how it would help you. I think you are missing a basic key in life...that is, to see how you can be of benefit to others, and not always how they can benefit you. Your parents are probably getting older. If you went home you might be able to be of help and comfort to them in their old age. They aren't going to be around forever.

If you stay where you are perhaps you could volunteer your time such as tutoring high school kids in your area of expertise. You say you have a lot to offer...and maybe you could find ways to offer it. You obviously get too emotional when isolating, such as crying for hours at a time. You need to find ways to channel these emotions better. Finding better ways of coping when emotions become overwhelming might help so that emotions will not obstruct problem solving. You need to help yourself to get strong and fight adversity. Best of luck. Hope this third time around on Psych Central helps you.