I really don't give my mother enough credit here for what she did for her children--never treated her the way she deserved to be treated. That was my problem, not hers.

You went to her surgery with her. She is so lucky that you were there for her for that. Our mother's make us react in all sorts of ways. And kudos to you for recognizing the things she did right. Sugarcoating and overlooking things is not a genuine type of praise anyways.....

PS You once said you ocassionally resented your H for leaving you to take care of everything that needed to be done (I'm sure I'm not conveying this sentiment perfectly accurately). I view my mom's role this way. She took care of the "hard" things like discipline, keeping us on schedule, collecting rents, making us go to church, etc. She was a strong, determined, and passionate person. Very energetic, rarely rested. She certainly made my dad's life easier and without her help, he would not have been successful as he was.