Quote:
Originally Posted by Vert
My head going a 100 miles and I can't sleep.
I keep paying over last Tuesday, when he asked me to come over. First time I saw him since he was so mean to me,
He was so calm and so needed to unload. I was happy to be there for him. But everything about him was so different. He lost a lot of weight, his way of talking and the multiple spiritual things around the apartment. I just felt like I was sitting with a man I don't really know. Even we been together 2 years.
I feel I made a mistake by staying overnight. We did have sex and he slept no problems after. Meanwhile I did not sleep at all. He always had hold me in bed or needed to have a part of his body touching me while we slept. That night nothing at all. Than he snuck out of bed at 5am, he awake for the day.
I had to leave early and I just got up a bit after 6 got dressed and left....
He have not reached out to me since. I did txt him last night, Wednesday and told him it was good seeing him the night before and that always be there for him. His answer was that he was happy he saw me too and that he always appreciated that I've always been there and that if I need to talk his also there for me.
... Need to talk. I so feel like I've been friend zoned and that things will never get back together 
I'm just so sad and it's so hard to see him this way
I have this snowbaording weekend planned it's 2 hours away. And I almost feel like canceling incase he needs me. I feel that if I'm not available when he needs me his going to be angry, even more if he realize i"m out somewhere having a good time.
Did he call me over just to have sex ??? Or he really meant that his all alone and have nobody to talk to. |
Look listen i know how you feel inside i been there before,Your mind is clouded by your Heart,you can't really think straight,It's not easy to see what's real n' what's not.
He is purely using you for his own gains,sexual or attention i don't care he is just using you,you are slow turning into a codependent person(your letting him dictate your happiness)The time you learn yourself to dictate your happiness it's the time you will be most Happy,try to set a Boundarie and look how he reacts.
Are you going to allow him just to pm you whenever he wants and use you and then walk away and the cycle of abuse to repeat itself?I don't really care what mental illness his suffering from,he has no right to use you,your Human you have feelings,Relationship is a two way street it must be 50:50 not 95:5 ratio,it won't really work like that.
He is telling you he will be there for you tho's are just empty words,you need someone who is there for you as much as you are there for him that's how it works,he is already hurting you with his distance he ain't there for you,your always there for him,he knows your going to pin your head down every time he does a move and he is using that,don't really allow that to yourself,your not an sexual object neither an supply or item your Human(you feel you have Empathy for people and a caring soul)Just Wake Up,there are better people out there,this words really might sound harsh but reality always hurts,i was in this Cycle and i still have problems sometimes i feel dead,sometimes i cry,it really does not change the fact that she used me whenever she needed me.
You ain't his safety blanket,or his phone to be used like that,do you really think someone who really loves you would have done that?
From the first day you start dating someone with a personality disorder he is a lost cause,only if he is in check and takes medications you will have a stable relationship(and he ain't even doing that)forget it you ain't a psychologist you can't help him,not if he does not allow you to help him,it's impossible.
You already ruining yourself skipping sleep,thinking about him etc he is bothering your mind so much that you forget of who you are,you forget about yourself,your happiness your boundaries,that my friend is Codependency your fading in there,your boundaries.
I went through hell and came back,just go NC(no contact)and try to heal your following a wrong path your going to get hurt really bad like i was i promise you mark my words at least i got hurt and there was no one to help me,i head no idea about this forum,but right now your the luck one you have us don't let your Heart control your mind,you already know what your Mind is telling you don't ignore it,you have a gut feeling that this ain't right and you already know you can't help him he has to want that himself,your just ruining yourself depending on him,letting him play abuse you,your self esteem is 0,he knows that and is using it,don't do that.
Where was he all tho's months when you feelt wrecked,when you cried,when you could not sleep did he ever asked you how you feelt?No,because he did not care,God knows what was he doing with other people,at the end of the day you ain't an Angel sent by Heaven your Human you don't have the strength to change him neither convince him to seek therapy,it already started ruining you.
Be careful peace,love and happiness.
I know hope is the only thing that keeps us alive,but you can't really hope from someone that does not want to be helped,tho's stuff only happen in fairy tales and we are living in a cruel world,i hoped for months for days everyday wrecking myself not eating anything dropping weight that she is going to realize what she did and it didn't happen,She head NPD with BPD and sociopath tendencies,it does not matter her diagnosis(what matters is are we really happy with the person that we are together with,the answer is simple NO)