I read your message a few times, I even printed it. So much truth in your message, starting with my mind being clouded by my heart, my heart being so big and caring don't help. Putting others before myself has always been something I do.

I'm starting to feel very depress, and I had depression before. I had a phycologist for over a year and taking medications following my divorce. My new health insurance don't cover mental health, I contacted him and each visit would be $95 that I just don't have.

It's Friday and I should be excited, I have great friends and they know what I'm going through and they are trying to help me get out of the house and do fun things ... and I feel excited with the plans but extremely guilty incase he needs me while I'm away. I hate myself for even considering canceling and sitting home waiting on him