Hi Oliver,

I'm sorry you're facing this. I remember being monumentally disappointed when I started going to therapy at the lack of connection. I'd read on here about how connected people felt to their T's, I'd read articles about how 'Finding a good T is like finding a soul mate,' and I'd wonder what was wrong with me that I just didn't feel anything intensely about my T.

I mean, I liked him well enough. He seemed like a nice guy, I guessed. Mostly he was a stranger and our sessions seemed awkward.

But I kept going, because it didn't seem like I had any other option. I started feeling more connected when I took a leap of faith and shared more personal things. Mostly, though, I decided we could work together and have a good-enough working relationship even without intense connection.

Can you still work with your T? What does not having a connection look like for you? Do you actively dislike him? Can he still help you with your goals?