Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger
@starrysky: Not working at the moment doesn't mean there is nothing you can contribute of. Relationships aren't a financial project as societies want us to make them, they are a personal growth place. Maybe this is irrelevant, but I didn't get married before I traveled abroad to get my PhD because I was thinking that I must be ready and financially independent when I get married, but looking back I think I made a mistake. At my mid 30s, and after a couple of years after finishing my PhD, I'm still not ready and financially insecure because I don't have a stable job (currently not working). Probably I will have to wait another 2-3 years to be financially secure. This means that I have to wait until I'm close to 40 to get into a relationship if ever!! We could've grown and progressed personally and financially together if the chemistry and connection was there. I wouldn't want someone to value me through my job or how much money I make. What if I lost the job suddenly for whatever reason? Would that mean I have no value any more?!! I would say go for it and explore your opportunities. Good luck
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I very much agree with you.
The basic premise is that society boils one's worth down to the job that they have and being employed, so those who aren't working are therefore worthless. (Please don't anyone else argue with me, I say this coming from years of experience, not having worked in 8 years for someone else, now only working for myself----and even that is seen as "not really being employed"----my mom has been self-employed since I was 4 and she's dealt with the same attitudes. Thus I speak from my own experience, and my own experiences aren't up for debate, although you are indeed free to speak based on your experiences, they just aren't going to change my mind)
If you haven't been unemployed, you do not see this kind of scorn so cannot judge.
So I say to heck with "society" and think outside the box. Its a relationship FFS and my definition of "relationship" doesn't involve the whole shebang, but unfortunately that's another societal assumption that I have to fight against as well. I don't even want a "standard" husband/house/kids/dog/white picket fence relationship, but again, that's what you get pigeonholed into if you don't want to be a total hermit the rest of your life.