Well firstly if your texts were over the line it was an affair. Infidenlty is not confined to an intimately physical event. I would be sick with anxiety too - and I have been.

What I needed was a simple acknowledgement that his actions were a gros infidenlity and validation that my feelings were normal and justified. She needs a demonstration on your part that you hurt yourself too by your actions.

I don't think there is much else you can do to erase the pain and stem the worry.

Do you and she do things together? Do you schedule quality time together. Do both of you stick to and commit yourself to that schedule?