Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Some people might not care if others don't work, but I believe most people would if they are looking for serious relationship or marriage.
I don't think it's being judgemental. Just being realistic. Living with someone who doesn't work would mean for me that I'd have to support him. I have nice job and I make decent money but not enough to support another adult. If I had extra money I'd rather give it to my daughter or my nephews and nice.
I wouldn't take on a strange man to support. I'd rather stay single. My husband was married to a woman who never worked, he always struggled, ended up in bankruptcy and she still
wouldnt work, he now pays spousal support etc when he first decided to start dating after divorce he knew he wouldn't never date a woman who doesn't work. He wouldn't repeat this craziness.
Now if someone is too disabled to work and they are on disability, and maybe work part time, then it's different. It's an income even if low. But unfortunately I see s lot of people who say they are disabled and can't work yet they aren't on disability and live off others, then it's different.
And potential bf/gf night think "if I start dating them I'll end up supporting them".
I believe if one is truly too unwell to work they need to be on disability
|
Thanks for your thoughts. I'm pretty over this thread atm. But here's my situation in case you might care to know. I'm on disability. I want to work. The agency that gave me vocational testing believes I need to overcome some things emotionally before I start working. I tend to agree with this even though its discouraging. I am trying to get better at showing up to volunteering first. It is my life and situation, I am working to make it better.
I think my thread has turned a bit into a "dating sucks and men sucks thread." Which is not what I intended, but thats ok. I contributed with my thoughts, but I still have hope and faith I'll meet someone right for me someday. And if not, hey, at least I didn't settle.
In my opinion, to tell people they are attracting ****** men into their lives is helpful, but also not helpful. It's helpful to think "how am I playing a part in this cycle?" It's not helpful to blame people though. It's a putdown, it feels bad, and it's not true.
I want to say, there's something about the blunt tone you write in that makes me feel uneasy sometimes. I don't know if you're judging or not. I know you have been supportive in the past of me and I could be reading into it. I value your opinion. But I don't know. You sound annoyed.