You have a strong logical side. Perhaps the nature of conflict in life disturbs you. In this way DBT may help, as it asks a person to hold two seemingly opposing truths...hence Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. One main truth in DBT, for instance, is to practice self-acceptance while at the same time realizing that one needs to change. I am not saying this is easy. However, I can relate to the enormous tension that builds up when I cannot "figure something out" logically.

I understand you wanting to correct the assumption that your are arrogant, to a more truthful "fact" that you are not really arrogant but are simply perceived as such. However, we still need to be aware of how we are perceived.

Coming on Psych Central can be supportive and helpful up to a certain point. It cannot replace individual therapy or an independent plan or strategy. Members throw out all kinds of suggestions and relate what works for them. For some it is therapy and medication. For others nutrition and exercise are key. And still others lean on a close-knit family or a spiritual community.

I think you need to try various things. You prefer not to do therapy at this time. You are no longer interested in religion. You also do not seem to be interested in medication. You do engage in exercise. You also seem to enjoy philosophical debate. Applied Existential Philosophy might be something you might enjoy.

However, since your main problem appears to be in the area of relationships, it seems that "relational therapy" might be helpful. That simply means finding a therapist or counselor to talk with. One-on-one. Face-to-face. In real time.

You are in a great deal of pain. It is palpable through every sentence you write. You are in crisis. This is evident in the number of threads you have recently written. You really, really, really need help.I know it is difficult when in deep pain to contemplate moving out of your comfort zone to try something new. But you might need to consider this. You could find a therapist or counselor to go to short-term, to talk to about your present crisis, your problem making decisions etc. Often people seek counseling when in transition...like going through a divorce, the death of a loved one, job loss, or trying to make career decisions i.e. redirect one's career path.

I myself have not been successful in finding counseling and I have been looking for over a month. I am taking a little break from looking...but I will probably go back to my search. I have had two free consultations but neither resulted in finding someone appropriate to talk with.

However, I do see the benefit of talking to someone regularly when in crisis. I have a psychologist from my health care provider who calls me once a week. Unfortunately I cannot see her in "real time" as I cannot afford it. However, these "phone visits" are free.

I also called crisis hotlines many times in December, because I could not control my anxiety when alone, and, as well, was experiencing suicidal ideation. I experimented and called different crisis hotlines. Some people I spoke to were extremely helpful. Mainly I got help in applying coping skills. This is exactly what I needed...and...talking to someone helped me tailor these various exercises. Eventually the suicidal ideation faded and now I would say I am simply severely depressed.

The point is I did start to reach out simply because the pain was unbearable. You put up with an unbearable amount of pain. Maybe you could use some help in reducing it a little around the edges. There are probably resources where you live and you may need to become more proactive in reaching out and finding them. It isn't easy. But you have a lot of your plate right now and you don't want to create a lot of stress fractures in your psyche. Best wishes.

I am not a fan of therapy but I know that short-term therapy can be helpful in breaking through isolation.