I'm feeling SO sick of myself..! I'm supposed to be following a special diet to treat a physical illness, but I keep falling off the wagon.. Once again today, just shoved my face with a big bag of candy.. I HATE this!!

Anyway, it got me thinking.. WHY do I do this? I realised there's this rage inside of me.. I WANT to destroy myself.. I don't think I know how to be happy

There are so many things I'd like to do.. But I keep sabotaging myself. It's really sad, and I'm really tired of it. I want to learn to love myself. I want to start accepting and believing it when others love me! I guess those are the people who are mirroring my true self back to me - not the one person who once showed me I was worth less than nothing.. I have to stop believing him.