The idea of love has always made me recoil.. It has felt like a weakness to me. But I guess we are all weak - that's why we need other people and their love! I do believe we can do SO much more together than on our own

This is me admitting I do want love. There is a part of me that realises it's a good thing It's just that as a child, I had to deny that need in me - because my dad didn't love me It was too much for me to handle. I thought it was my fault.. After that, I couldn't really let anyone's love get close to my deepest core - because there, I believed I was unlovable. To change that belief, I should have admitted my dad was the one who was wrong.. And I couldn't do that. I needed to believe he knew what he was doing, that I could count on him. But he was wrong.. I am lovable He just wasn't able to love me.

Instead of blaming myself for him not loving me, I'm going to start believing I am lovable - I'm going to start accepting other people's love for me. I can accept it feels good. It helps me go on in life! I do need it more than anything. And I'm going to take it when someone gives it to me freely - I deserve it