I completely understand how you feel and how hard it is for you to accept the bipolar diagnosis. Although, I do not have bipolar myself, my husband does and it was very hard for him to accept in the beginning and it caused us many problems. He does take whatever medication his doctor gives him and it has seemed to work.....most of the time.

Right now he is very manic and depressed. He has never charted his moods, but that sounds like a great idea to me. All I know from my experience in dealing with someone who has this disorder is the best thing to do is what the doctor tells you. However you feel you must keep the doctor and anyone close to you informed as that will help in your recovery and prevent any relapse.

My husband is currently taking Lexapro for depression and Lamictal for mania. Like I said, he is currently very manic and depressed and his moods change like the sun rises an sets.

Anyway, good luck in whatever you do and also realize that having bipolar is something that can be lived with if treated by the right doctors and you are given support by your loved ones and most importantly, yourself.