Feeling quite alone and once again having urges to relapse back into self-harm. Nothing is enjoyable anymore and this existence of just going through the days on autopilot, with nothing at all to look forward to, is making me crazier. I find myself getting irritable over little things and thinking bad thoughts about people close to me, even snapping at them. There is nothing that can give me a break from my mind, not even meditation anymore. I only hope I'll be able to sleep tonight, and without the strange and unsettling dreams that I've been having lately.