Still drinking, but sipping not guzzling. It's really tasty, a fruity white zinfandel.

So yeah. I stood up to h earlier. Son is out with friends this evening, so we are alone in the house. We were both in the office, him at his desk me at mine, and mine is by the door so when I pushed my chair out and turned around to talk to him, I was kinda blocking the door, not intentionally, but I was. And I just started talking to him. I told him how hurt our son is, how he feels like he is a burden to his dad and how he just wants to feel like his dad is proud of him. I asked him, would it hurt you to tell your son that you are proud of him? and he said "for what? He's not doing anything to be proud of right now." I said yes he is! Dig deep! Find something, no matter how little, you feel proud of him for! He said "well I told him after the accident that he did good getting help from the police." I was like dear, that was almost a MONTH ago. He needs to hear positive things from us every DAY right now. Would it kill you to tell him you're proud of him more often? I mean seriously? And he said "I guess it would." I asked him why. He said he didn't know. I said I am not trying to attack you here. I am just trying to explain what it's like to have negative voices in your head and needing outside approval to help counteract them. H said "Isn't that what the therapist is helping him with?" I said yes, of course, but we can help too, how hard is it to say while he's playing his bass "Wow son, that's sounding really good! You're really doing well!" But he doesn't. Sometimes he says it to me, and I pass it along, but why can't he say it directly to son? I said he needs to hear it from YOU. He needs to know that his Dad loves him and values him while he's learning how to value himself. I told him son said that he feels like you think he's a loser. And he said "If I thought he was a loser, I would kick him out of the house." I asked him well then why can't you find something, any one little thing at all, that says to you he's NOT a loser, and tell him good job for that. Actually just talk to him about ANYthing other than criticizing him. Ask him how his day was. Even THAT would be enough. Don't just go knock on his bedroom door when you get home from work and say "Did you make your budget?" without even saying hello. I tried not to attack, I didn't yell, I did get emotional, but I said a lot of the things that are on my heart. He didn't get mad, actually it was worse he kept making jokes, and it was really pissing me off. So I said "I am trying to talk to you here. Please stop changing the subject." And he said "I don't know what you want me to tell you." I said I want you to tell me you will say something nice to your son. He said fine. And then the cat distracted us and the conversation was over. I hope I have given him some food for thought.