I just wanna say that triangulation stuff is the Norm in many Asian families. Not sure if that's healthy or not.

I think Art's son feels unsafe talking to his father and I can see why. I don't know what I'd do though.

Art, I care for my younger brother like you worry about your son. I feel like I want to protect him from everything, soothe his hurts etc. Maybe you can step back mentally and still be a supportive base for your son to touch base with, without pressuring yourself to fix everything as though it's ALL your responsibility and not a team effort. I think your H needs to step the eff up but I had parents who didn't care when my siblings and me were suicidal and messed up so I'm biased.