Hi not.dead.yet

I can relate to you 100%
As I too was not shown love by my dad from the age of 6yrs old (Mother was killed) I had a few best friend`s `BUT`these dwindled as they died! The protection I have for my heart against that horrible loss emotion, must be 50 ply thick now! I cant` show or give love `SO` I cant` receive or experience love, as the emotions` and feelings` are, and very very painful!!!
One day in the near future, these barriers` may come down when the right person who understands` me, comes` along. `Until then, my loneliness is my only friend!!