I have decided to go to a dominatrix, this pent up stress and frustration in my life and not having the ability to make my body and mind have casual sex needs some outlet.

This will be the first time I go to a female, she is a professional. I talked to her on the phone a bit, and expressed my need for a full body flogging. She had a nurturing tone to her voice and understood my concerns. But going to a dominatrix costs half a car payment so I will need to wait a bit till some current expenses are taken care of.

The stroke of every tail against my body should provide a much needed release. Every stroke should release all this pent up pain and stress, or at least that is what I am hoping. I want to twist and turn in pain for an hour, wherever her stroke may fall on my body. No playing around with soft strokes or running it up and down and teasing me with it. Lets get down to business with the medium ones and then the constant strokes, one after the other, till I cannot take it anymore.

The main relief will come in the next couple of days, when every sting left over on my back lights up if i move in a certain way and releases the stress freeing dose like a patient hooked up to morphine.

On a positive note, I may have the possibility of a date this evening, I met this guy off craigs list who wants to go watch SPLIT as well. So let's see how it goes. Hopefully it wont turn up like last Friday.... (see the "Twilight Woods" post). I am not wearing my heart on my sleeve for him, just want to go to the movies with someone. He is a man who just broke up and wants to go have some fun, but seems wounded on the inside and thinks i cannot see it.

The man from the Twilight Woods does not like me going to the dominatrix but he wont talk about it...just have a soft smile if I mention it, he knows i need it. I saw him in a Tshirt the other day, a black one, his arms are nice and strong, his gaze was down while i was telling him about my day. He would sometimes put his hands in his pocket and smile or fold them across his chest and i would see those arm muscles tighten up when he did that. He seemed a little nervous and didn't know what to do with his hands, I like nervous men, they have a certain vulnerability to them...

Will update...