Hi, all.

I hope you’re well. It’s been a bumpy ride for me over the last few months, going from a counsellor whose first response to my presenting issue was ‘And you can’t just let this go?’ to somebody who truly does understand the impact this deception has had on me.

I’ve been reading Bessel van der Kolk, and doing a bit more research. I had a conversation with a friend with some overlapping experience on Thursday, and they asked whether anybody had ever talked about my experiences in terms of PTSD before. They haven’t, but the more I read, the more I think I am experiencing symptoms consistent with post traumatic stress.

Whilst my friend was supposedly dying, I never got the chance to trust that there would be a resolution, that she would eventually be OK. I remain burdened by certain aspects of the information that was shared, and these cause problems particularly at night.

What I wanted to ask was – is there anyone here who has accessed specialist trauma therapy through talking with a counsellor or similar...or are these services usually self-referral? I am in the UK, if that is relevant.


I plan to have an initial conversation about this with R on Thursday, but she goes on leave after that. I'm hoping to be able to continue our work afterwards.