I am so sorry you are going through such pain. (((hugs))). It's horrible to feel worthless, guilty, and that you're letting people down. I've been down that road before, but remember that although you might feel that way, you are worth it and deserve happiness.

Also, you have us here that care. Please talk to your pdoc. Like I said, I've struggled with these same feelings intensely and still do, but a recent medication change gives me a little bit of relief. Keep in mind, it took about 6 months or longer to find any sense of relief. It definitely sounds like there's some work to do when it comes to getting the meds straight, and then it could become easier to use some of the coping skills.