What I have observed is that you engage in circular thinking. You come on and present a problem or problems. Many people respond and give you lots of support and advice. Each time you respond to advice mostly by defending yourself, or explaining how you have tried something and it hasn't worked.

I think maybe it would be helpful if you started fresh. That is, try some things that you have not tried before. Or, try something that perhaps you only half-heartedly tried before. Throw yourself into a solution. There are so many suggestions on this thread alone.

My suggestion was for you to seek a counselor or therapist to talk with, even short term, to help you prioritize your needs/desires, and to come up with strategies to get to where you want to go.

Since you did not reply to my comment I assume you rejected my idea. I won't take it personally because you often reject people's suggestions either overtly or covertly.

You engage in circular thinking. This is probably the result of being alone so much. I think it is imperative that you find someone to talk with in real life. This is a powerful way to break through circular thinking.

You often make comments on other people's threads. They are usually insightful, and often very kind. People appreciate your comments, it appears. This is one way Psych Central is good for people as it allows for the exchange of support. In a way it is social, too.

However, it has now been proven that the "brain" does know the difference between real life situations as opposed to artificial situations such as the internet. We were meant to interact face-to-face. The brain is fed differently in real life situations. Your anxiety in being around people in real life kind of bears this out. It seems you are more comfortable online. Aren't we all! But our brain benefits more from real-life stimuli.

Because you go round and round and round it is very frustrating to be involved with your dilemma. I think repetition without solution causes a dilemma to become drama. I am becoming more aware of this is my life. Drama frustrates people and causes them to lose interest.

I don't see what the big deal is with having a psychiatric examination. I had one last Autumn. I wanted to determine if the cause of my problems was a mood disorder or a personality disorder. A psychiatrist did my assessment. The result was I did not have either of these. The psychiatrist outlined what he thought I should do to improve my mood and my life, and one thing he suggested was to see a counselor. Although I initially resisted this I am now engaged with trying to find some kind of counseling situation. Even if short-term. I have not yet been successful in finding someone. But I will keep trying.

When I recently lost my (new) job I came on Psych Central and got a lot of support and encouragement to keep going until I find something more appropriate. What was most interesting was that I made a lot of posts, and they formed a kind of journal. I was able to go back and read about my own experiences. I made a lot of mistakes at the job...the first one being maybe I should not have taken it in the first place as it was a bad fit. The point is, I got a lot of help from folks here on Psych Central. I really listened to what everyone had to say. And it was helpful to go back and read everything I wrote. This kind of documentation of one's journey is helpful, and keeping the same avatar and staying on Psych Central for a period of time can also be very helpful.

I don't see why finding out (officially) that you fall somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum would have a negative effect. You are a seeker of truth, always, so I cannot imagine you would flinch from a diagnosis. It can only help you. You can identify ways you might improve certain skills in order to improve you life, overall.

I think I can speak for everyone here when I say you seem to be an extraordinary person. You have great intelligence. That you feel deeply isn't a negative. You present as passionate, and someone who really wants to thrive in his life. It is like you are trying to fit all the pieces of a puzzle together, and you find they don't fit. Well, they do fit...but this is perhaps a very complicated puzzle, akin to a Rubik's Cube. The solution is not yet clearly evident.

But there are solutions. Since you don't care much for my comments I will refrain from further comments on your threads. I wish you well. I sincerely, sincerely do. You deserve more from life than to always be in pain. As well, you are too young and vigorous to give up. Don't give up my friend. You are not too old. You are in your prime. You have resources. Follow the light at the end of the tunnel. Follow the light, always.