I don't know how I feel. Awful, I guess.

I have so much love to give but it's rejected by everyone. No one has ever loved me. They use the L word when they want sex and then they vanish with some petty excuse that they're not ready. I'm routinely used and backstabbed by practically all my friends who have come and gone over the years. I have never once had a true friend. I guess that's why I prefer my own world of imaginary friends and obsessions, like my Metalocalypse obsession, because they're my only comfort when the real world screws me over. They don't. It's sad and pathetic to say I'm 24 years old and most of my friends are imaginary. Right now, what I crave the most is to feel truly loved by someone from the real world but that's never going to happen. Why bother having friends if they backstab me? Why bother dating if they only want sex? I'm so upset right now I'm crying I just want to feel loved by a real person with no ulterior motives other than that they love me for who I am. :_(