I feel like I should add that the times I felt pressured is old history. It was back when my H was having a lot of pressure at work and was mostly because he was drinking way to much. He quit drinking completely a while back (5 years ago?). That has made a world of difference.

I just wanted you to know that I relate slightly. Plus, I recall that your H currently has a drug and drinking problem. Do I recall correctly? When people are unhappy, under stress and drunk, they act very selfish sometimes including in bed. If your husband has a drinking problem and gets angry, etc.--it can sometimes result in anger within ourselves that effects us in negative ways. Again, therapy might help. So would either leaving your H or your H making some changes within himself. You cannot change him. He has to want to change....