Thanks all. Glad to report I feel much better today physically. We've just had a row where I once again felt like what I recall saying was twisted and re written so I got angry and argued back reminding him of his infidelities and lack of communication. It then switched to him feeling sorry and sitting with a sad expression then talking about what happened at work. I just looked and thought this is the pattern yet now I see it as manipulation whereas before I'd fall soft. I may be waking up here!