I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Did anything trigger you today? I wish I had something good to say. Other than, you can get over this patch, and go through another recovery. That's all life is, just a crash and another try, over and over and over. I think after some time, in adulthood, the two states of being get sort of fuzzy, and with slower turn over. I hope you'll stay with us, everyone here at pc.