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Originally Posted by Gabyunbound
It's so hard to say... The only consistent thing to me that puts into question BP is that your high's only seem to last for 1 day and usually they need to last for a couple of weeks. Have you asked your pdoc if he/she thinks you're ultra rapid cycling? This is very unusual, but my understanding is that it exists.
As for OCD, having 3 small kids and OCD sounds maddening! Kids make messes and I can't imagine needing so intensely for things to be clean and neat in that situation and I can imagine it causing you irritability, anger, and even feeling really low.
The moods could be on a spectrum from normal reactions to difficult situations, all the way to the extremes of BP. I would mood chart including 1-10 how intense these moods are and how long they last. You could bring them to your pdoc and that might be helpful. You can also think of triggers that might be setting off these moods. It sounds like you're going through so much pain and I wish you the best.
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When I look back over the past 6 months or so, I could see 2 instances where possibly I was hypomanic for a few weeks. I started psychotherapy in October. In my first session, she asked about my very early childhood and my parent's divorce. Within about 3 or 4 days, I became very very very driven to find information out about my dad. I do remember having a ton of trouble sleeping, I was going all over town to hospitals, doctors offices, police departments searching for information (ANY information) on my dad. I took time off work because there just wasn't enough time to do everything fast enough. I wanted all the information, and I wanted it NOW. I remember being very upset and determined for about 3 weeks.
Then, all the sudden, I came to a point where I was just 'done'. I was just... not motivated to find out any more information. My therapist asked me about it and she was like "You found out a LOT of information on your dad recently. Some of it was pretty disturbing... how do you feel?" and I told her "Eh. Not really on my mind anymore". Even though it was the ONLY thing on my mind, and DRIVING me to places and talking with people, etc etc... (mind you I have anxiety about being around people, or asking people to do things for me...).
So, hypomanic triggered by starting therapy and her asking about a traumatic experience in my early childhood? or just a very OCD person that finally 'had enough' and wanted to know more about his dad that he knew relatively little about?
Then a few weeks later I started those medications, went crazy for a couple days, then got off them.
Then I was on looking into political ideologies and 'fixing' things about our country. Watching documentaries, looking up political offices I might be able to hold, looking up and reading about American history. I was hoping I could find a political cause to join and quit my job. (I do hate my job and wish I could find another one, but doesn't everyone?) This lasted about 2 weeks.
Then I was 'on' mindfulness for about a week or two. My therapist recommended I try Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction for my anxiety. So I bought Jon Kabit-Zinn's book on MBSR and that's, well, about all I did for about a week or two. Read his book any chance I got, practiced the audio recordings for relaxation, thought about putting mindfulness into EVERYTHING in my day to day practices. Looked into if I could become certified to teach MBSR one day. Switched over to all non-alcoholic beers, reduced caffeine. I was going to FIX me! Then I read a small minor detail in the book that made me question the whole program. I was 'done' with the whole thing about the next day and never really tried it again.
Then, (this may be in the original post...), but about three weeks ago, something 'switched' in me one morning when I was at work. I just was VERY VERY motivated to get back into working out and exercising and eating right. I hadn't been for about a year. My wife always asked me If I would started being healthy again (I used to be VERY fit about a year ago, then crap started happening in our family and I lost it..). Even though I just had the idea to start working out... I felt like I was already 3 days behind and needed to work out RIGHT NOW. I did, right then. Right then, I didn't have any more crap to eat. I worked out religiously every day. Wished I could work out two or three times per day to get results faster. This lasted about 3 weeks, now... not so much interested. Drinking is up a little bit, don't care too much about what I eat. This was at the same time I was very driven to learn about creating websites and learning the web coding languages. So, is this someone that was just motivated to be healthy coupled with OCD that made it so strict? Or hypomania?
Are these all isolated instances of drive? All hypomania? It's hard to say with me being so OCD. But I feel like if I was just OCD, then I would just have some things I do all the time due to OCD (need to clean house, organize a closet just right or something).
However, the fact that I can pick out these marked instances over the past six months does have be wonder if it may be bipolar related.
Your thoughts? Thank you, everyone!!!