I am sorry about your love life situation. However, if your ex made it a point to say that he no longer wanted to be intimate because of your substance/drinking problem--that may be a more serious issue than your love life. When we abuse substances sometimes it makes us "bad lovers". Plus, if you have been using/drinking heavily for 30 years it effects your health, energy levels (ability to reach your potential/get things done), and appearance. That just isn't attractive. To much drinking can contribute to depression too. Working on the substance abuse issues should be a priority. You are right, that doesn't guarantee that your love life will be fixed but it will help you in many other ways. It is good that he is still your friend and cares enough to express his concern about your problem. I hope you can find the strength to give it all up.