Hi All:
This is my second post;first one to this board.I am on disability which took two years to get approved. It left our finances devastated. I have bipolar depression/anxiety/borderline personality disorder. I have had depression since 1999 and had a nervous breakdown/psychosis in 1980 when I was in college.
Last week, I felt the worse I have ever felt. The mental pain/torture was terrible. This went on for two or three days until I called my pdoc and he put me on seroqell. It basically just knocked me out. Right now I am very confused as to what is going on with me. I can usually handle the depression with all the tools I have been taught but not this time. Nothing worked. The only way I could get any relief is to just close my eyes in a quiet room and rest. I weathered yet another storm but this one has left me stripped of everything. It feels as though I am going to have to rebuild everything mentally. Right now I feel I have no hope of ever getting better, empty, I have just resigned from life. I can't take it anymore.
I just try to put on a good show but am still very depressed. No one can understand what I just went through. They don't want to hear about it. Every little thing upsets me. Sorry for such along post, but I just had to get it all out on the table.
Ken