I really meant to reply to this earlier, but now is as good of a time as any I guess...
You mentioned an inability to connect in one of your previous posts. I've had the same problem. Even with peers with all the same interests, I feel like I don't know what to say or when to say it. And therefore I usually don't speak in groups unless someone asks me something directly. One on one is easier if the other person's "rhythm" is easy to follow so I know when to speak. I don't know if you can relate to any of that, but I don't know how I'm supposed to connect to anyone if I don't know when to speak or what to say.
I have an easier time with people who aren't peers for some reason...adults when I was a child, professors/teachers, and other adults that are my parents' age and older sometimes, but I suppose it's because those relationships are on unequal footing. It's certainly not the same as a relationship with a peer I would assume. But with peers I certainly do not fit in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger
You are right. I need to look what to offer to others, not only what to expect from others. Which is an issue I think. Why? Because I don't offer what people are looking for. I'm not funny, not interesting, don't have hobbies, don't do small talks, don't like to go out, don't like to travel, ... etc. I can do formal things, but getting personal is something completely different. But I also don't expect from others to change me. But I was implying that a relationship may motivate me when I feel I have responsibilities, when I have a purpose, artificial that is.
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I also relate to this. I don't think I offer much to others other than being able to do their homework for them or favors for them and I just end up being badly used. I imagine I do have a sense of humor, but it's the sort of humor that people either really like or gets me into too much trouble. So I suppose that most of the time I have the wrong kind of humor.
I really can't get personal anymore either, although perhaps for different reasons. My core identity is "wrong", therefore I can't share it with people or they'll think I'm a creep or a freak. I'm afraid if I share anything, it's oversharing.
Anything to do with work or school I could probably talk about, but most people prefer not to talk about that stuff on their "off hours". I try to be part of conversations, but I have nothing to contribute.
I wonder, have you ever looked for or interacted with others on the spectrum or have the traits? If you have, is it any easier to interact with them? The only person I've ever really connected with and understood is on the spectrum, so that's why I'm wondering. Maybe that's the secret.