Thank you for your answer!
Why would it affect me so much?
I know it may be caused by a lack of self esteem when it comes to my emotions but how is it that I feel instantly so anxious when there's a trigger? I feel it like adrenaline being pumped up in my brain and I start making decisions out of paralizing fear. Obviously. And I can't concentrate on anything else.. So I've been reading about ptsd symptoms related to childhood traumas and it explains all my behaviors.. Anyway, I guess I should ask a psychiatrist. Its just that last time it seemed clear to her that it was BPD. Now I know its just a label but it's important to me so I know what to do to deal with it.
Thanks