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I totally understand. It's hard when you don't feel like things are secure and you rely on others as your safety net if something bad happens. Do you have a therapist to talk to about this?
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...Out of night and alarm
Out of terrible dreams
Reach me your hand!
This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep:
The white peace of the waking.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~
Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart 
Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN
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