It is not a sign. That was one ******hole who deserves to be fired. I have had trouble being rejected when I was desperate before. It does make you want to give up and feel worthless and hopeless. BUT there is hope. Take yourself to ER tell them everything, be clear your life is in danger, and they should help you. There are many wonderful mental health professionals out there, I really hope you can get in contact with one asap.

Please take yourself to ER if no one else can take you. Call an ambulance if you have to, but DON'T GIVE UP!! You are precious. Keep reaching out and you will find the help you need soon. Things will get better from that point. Hang in there. Go to hospital. We all care.