To start with, my whole life was spent around people I couldnt trust to make wise decisions & definitely didnt trust them to help me come up with eise decisions.

Two things have helped me. One was spending 2 years in a wonderful DBT group where wise mind thinking, & seeing the big picture was the focus between the other sections that helped me learn about myself & communicate with others.

The second thing was that I left the bad marriage that I couldnt trust to make or help me mske wise decisions. I moved to a place where I didnt know anything to start with but got involved in areas with very smart peopke I could trust. Now when I have difficult decisiobs I need to mske I always take counsel with them & talk through the options to see what they think. They have been awesome ingiving advice & ideas. My psychologist who was my DBT group leader is also anither person I will take my decision making needs to for ideas on my thoughts & other pissible wYs of looking for a solution.

Having wise people to talk to is critical because even using wise mind & seeing the big picture there is always something I miss. Having a logical mind already helped me. Being a computer design engineer, i had lots of problem solving on the job...but my H was also in thevsame career & anything that needed common sense at, he FAILED miserably.

It is a miracle that I trust anyone after hhe life I had but I always recognized wise people, just had none that existed in my life.