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Feb 06, 2017, 06:26 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: between the emotion and the response
Posts: 171
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I have been struggling for a long time now with loneliness. I haven't been on a date in over 2 years. I am a successful entrepreneur, highly intelligent, charismatic, and not bad looking, but I can't get a date?
I honestly don't know what to do as far as getting out and meeting people. I am 12 years sober, so I don't go to bars or clubs. I am an atheist, so I do not attend church or have any desire to. Those really are my only two options in my geographical location (deep south). All I have found through Meetup and Craigslist are bible study groups and wine tasting groups... and one group for nudists aged 50 and up. I have asked my sisters if they have any friends they could introduce me to, and they say they don't. I have watched people make connections through volunteer work, but I am somehow always left out.
I have been engaged twice; they both initially approached me, and they both started cheating on me soon after we were engaged. A few years ago, I was kicked out of the house I built for the woman I was engaged to so she could move the guy she was cheating on me with in. It was the man I knew as her ex husband, but it turned out they had been married the whole time. In fact, every committed relationship but one I have been in ended up with me getting cheated on. (The one who didn't cheat on me died as the result of a car wreck.)
The last woman I was involved with, when I explained my aspergers and the struggles I had been through to her, promised me she would not break it off with me without talking to me about whatever the issue was first (this is another thing that has happened to me a lot, being dumped out of the blue with no explanation as to why). Of course, she still ended up dumping me and refusing to tell me why.
About 18 months ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen since high school. We talked for a while, she gave me her number, I called and we had a pleasant conversation. Then I drove through a dead zone and lost the call. After that, she did not answer or return another call I made or reply to the text message I sent. Not long after that, I asked a woman I knew through work out to lunch, and she agreed and even seemed excited about it... but she stood me up. Later I found out she decided to go back to her abusive ex rather than go to lunch with me.
I have lost track of the amount of money I've spent on dating sites, and yet I have failed to make a single connection in over two years... as in not even one reply to any message I've sent. There have even been times when I was not the one to make contact... when I replied to a message from someone else and still got no response.
Even my therapist told me (right before I fired her) that men with asperger's just aren't able to maintain relationships and that I needed to get used to the idea of being alone. But I can't get used to it. I won't get used to it. I decided recently that if I am still alone at 40 (in just over 2 years),
But now I am wondering if I can hold on that long.
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Sometimes insanity is a perfectly sane reaction to an insane situation.
Last edited by FooZe; Feb 06, 2017 at 11:48 PM.
Reason: added trigger tags
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