I really really have all sorts of feelings over how that particular blood sibling has hurt me. I feel like I'm leaning so heavily over the past several months onto my chosen sibling in the USA. He is terrified because he is dark skinned and an immigrant and various other things and I'm being such a burden.

My chosen sibling says he thinks it's CSA too but I find it so scary and WTF to contemplate.

I know T knows I minimise and rationalise things a lot, but it's still a big WTF to hear her "say" what I experienced at the hands of my blood sibling is CSA. I was talking about a friend I feel super protective about who is wondering if his CSA made him LGB and she just so casually and neutrally said "And it's confusing for you too right?" I tried clarifying but I can't remember exactly what was said because I just felt surprised, uncomfortable then numb then I changed the topic and pretended she didn't say it.

I have accepted that I'm bisexual but am heavily questioning my gender identity, and I'm TERRIFIED talking about any of this will get me mocked like I want to be a "special snowflake"...

And she just so casually shows she thinks what I experienced is CSA. I hope I misheard everything and that wasn't what she meant at all and that what she actually meant was confusion over LGBT...

I've told her about what happened with my blood sibling but I basically never outright refer to it. I try my best to forget it. I wish I never talked about my friend at all.

I have to face my blood sibling every day and it's difficult enough around the bullying he dished out for years, so this thing is just too much on my plate.