I'll just address the things I've had experience with.

I've never felt any side effects from Lamictal, which I think is in line with a lot of people here, though it is not always the case. I think you should titrate up according to what your pdoc feels is safest.

As far as benzo's, I take them during the day, not for sleep, but the side effect I've felt is some anhedonia; my pdoc says that they (though she specifically cited klonopin) are infamous for that.