I have this deep fear that a male with Asperger's is incredibly off-putting to woman, at least in a romantic way.

I don't have data to back up my claim, as there seems ot be no research. But I do need to explain the lack of woman in my life. And the lack of romantic interest of those who have been part of my life.

And I guess I have nothing to complain about, since I myself would rather be alone than be with woman who have less desirable traits. And I might have some traits that make me least desirable.

And in a sense I can understand it. Apparently, my looks aren't enough to make woman around me notice and acknowledge me. So what about me is so special that females will start to fall in love with me the moment we first meet?

For a long time I didn't know why I would want to enter a game where normal people already often get bad results, when the game seems to be deliberately rigged against me.

So for a decade, I decided not to even try, partly knowing that me falling in love hurt me more than normal people by far.
There has been one woman who got it into her head to try to get me to change my mind. And it turned out she did all that without even being interested herself.

I have tried some dating site. I inherently find that something extremely boring. Talking to some AI or to the most perfect girl ever, if it is just text, it is the same. I think hard about my replies and type them out carefully. I could do those kinds of chats when I was 17, but I am 33 right now. It was so boring to me. It must be even worse to them. But the other side didn't seem to put in any effort.

I had this one conversation;

Me: "What are your passions?"
Her: "haha cats""
Me: "Why cats and not dogs?"
Her: "also"
Me: "So do they get along well?"
Her: "sure"

That is just one example. I almost get this feeling that to get someone to engage you have to randomly write stuff without any filter as if you have ADHD. Most people I am automatically matched with, they never send me a message. So I also stopped sending messages first.

And this is supposed to be fun to them, to date me. I can't imagine how some person one day will know how to talk to me, we meet, and she notices I am slightly odd, maybe not so good looking as she hoped, have a 14 year gap of nothingness in my life, possible Asperger's, I will stand out to her friends as odd/not a good catch, I have to explain she can't meet my friends because I don't really have any, and she can't meet my parents because they are so ****ed up.
And somehow, I also have to be into her, which is possibly even less likely.

And given all that, if something ever moves into an actual relationship, I have to confront this thing that in the face of most relationships definitely failing, I have to somehow deal with me possibly having Asperger's and thus not appearing to connect emotionally.

And I must say, more and more I am starting to think woman preferring 'bad men' over Asperger men isn't so strange. And then there's still normal proper men, with neither the bad of either.

Online dating seems pointless. I am considering getting professional pictures taken to become more interesting, as this seems so extremely shallow.

Woman I meet, to me it never seems to lead anywhere romantic. Usually we are collegues. With the few of them where I can see past their flaws and somehow see something develop, it never seems to me that I am the right person for them. I mean, there has to be something there before the one asks out the other on a date, and I don't know what that is and how it can ever be there. And I don't see what the point is, to impassionately date another person. The only reason I may consider it is to gain practice, because they are physically very attractive, to forget about the woman I am actually infatuated with, or out of shear desperation. I almost know for sure that if I ever end up on a date somehow, I will feel bad for her because I am using her to feel less insecure.

And to the once in a decade female I do fall in love with, the odds they like me back are zero.

As for hiding or not hiding an Asperger diagnosis. I don't have a diagnosis and I already feel romance is all about hiding your Asperger traits.

But maybe I don't have Asperers as I feel I have much much more empathy than average people. I just won't feel surprised when others would think I have less.

To the OP, I am sorry I don't have any advice.