***Venting***
***Trigger Warning***

I think most people don't understand how and what I feel about others and life in general. I simply cannot connect with people. I see all social interactions as pointless and there is no inner motivation for me to engage in them. I don't want to talk to any one, and I don't want anyone to talk to me. None. But I feel I have to fake interest to get what I want in this life which is hypocrisy. I don't like the idea of manipulating people, although it seems fine with others. I feel raging anger toward people. I actually feel some sort of hatred toward them and view them as hypocrites and self-centered. I just don't want anything to do with any of them. I feel so overwhelmed with any interaction, and I have no patience. Today I'm angry very much and I have had a bad headache since early morning and no medication is working because I keep having these self-talks which keeps me in the loop of being angry. I feel like I'm trapped in my body (and in life), because I cannot avoid people while in this body, although I want to. I don't have the freedom to do so if I want to live, which obviously I do want. I feel I have no other option, which makes me raging in anger and going insane. Being a hermit seems the only genuine way of life for me, which is to be dead in life. To be away from people as far as possible. I wish I didn't exist over this horrible existence.