I've been using Effexor for two years now, it changed my life. And I started Concerta 4 days ago see if it can help me focus and stopped being drained of energy at the middle of the day. I was seeing a sexologist not too long ago but was recently diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and waiting to enter the "rehab"program. For now I'm seeing a Social Worker so I don't get crazy and hurt myself I guess -.- not that I'm thinking about but when I find myself in emotionally hard to deal situations I feel so hurt that I want to hurt myself. Now, it is exactly why I went to the hospital to see a psychiatrist to know if she would see something I don't.

Thing is, I don't actually live any rejection anymore. But I keep living emotional flashbacks. I don't even need to think about it, it just comes by itself you know?
So in other words, I am causing this to myself without being able to do otherwise. Like if I am still a child emotionnally, living in the past. I don't really know how to go past this anymore. I have a very healthy lifestyle, it changes everything on the day to day but doesn't change a thing with deep wounds. It does help me feel good about myself tho. I can function in a way, but there is always this deep feeling of helplessness. Love is so important to me, connecting to people I like feels like a dream, which is why it's so frustrating.