Beating myself up a little because I gained 3 pounds with all the alcohol and carbs I consumed this weekend. I'm trying to drink a **** ton of water to flush out the alcohol water weight. I'm afraid I'll never break 200. Low carb is the only thing that has worked even a little. But I had to go mess it up.

But what's done is done. I've been on track for the last two days. I did so well in January! No cheats the whole month. My pattern before was doing well during the week and then bingeing all weekend, hence why I never lost any weight. I didn't do that in January. So I think I need to try to pull it together. Go the whole month of feb. with no cheats. See if I can lose any more weight.

I really want to fit back into my clothes :-( I've been buying some new clothes here and there but I really like all my medium tee shirts and I want to wear them in the summer. And my work clothes are expensive! I can't buy new ones all the time. I have so many pairs of pants that I can't wear right now.

But it's ok. I just have to pick myself up and dust myself off. Only 22g of carbs today and yesterday. I hope to at least lose the three pounds I gained this week. We will see how it goes. Trying to be positive. When I get down on myself Is when I just say **** it and eat everything in sight.