I've been on anxiety and depression medication on and off most of my life. It's been a year and a half since I stopped taking them this time. Generally I do good. I have been exercising, as well as being somewhat social. However, i've always lacked motivation to persue bigger things. I am an aspiring writer. I generally don't have the motivation/ discipline to continue with that. I become a reader on and off, and it is not due to lack of time. I work only part time, so I do have the time to read and write. I was working on a Masters, but i had to let that go because i was constantly anxious and depressed, specially after a bad experience. I let people down and i let myself down by quitting the program. Then I got a part time job, and that had been going generally well until now after a bad experience. I don't want to elaborate on it because it hurts. I feel embarrassed. I want to cry. My anxiety and depression in incresing. And I know how this works already. I might have another setback. I don't want that to happen. A setback caused me to quit grad school. I hope I won't have to lose my part time job. It would set me back a long way. I will admit that I can be doing a better job in my work. It seems that I have not been as productive as I would want to. Maybe I lack intelligence or motivation. I truly have not done anything in life. Or I could be just a lazy, dumb, f@ck up. I can never seem to get it together. I'm 28, and it seems that I haven't grown up. I get overwhelmed and then I lose control. Then I wanto stop everything. That is when I quit stuff. I feel as a failure, an embarrassment. I fear that I might not be able to hold a job, or anything of that sort. I read an article that says i need to man up. It is very hard to do. I am afraid. I can get really bad. Sorry I wrote this much and sorry for returning to the forum when i'm getting bad only. I should have been here supporting members when i'm ok. I might not dserve your responses. Thank you.