My hair went rapidly grey then white in my late-20's. I began dying it because I hated the white. Dyed it and dyed it. I was in a rut of dying my hair for many years. Then the white became resistant to the dye. At first I was upset. Then I decided that I'd go to a stylist and have her work with the grey/white instead of against it. WOW! She put blonde low-lights mixed in with the white and I've never been more pleased with my hair color. It's so easy now.

Anyway. I could go on about hair color for paragraphs

It sounds like maybe your grey hair reminds you of aging and loss?