I'm sorry for your rough childhood.

I really don't have an advice for you about being alone, but from your posts it seems you have a positive outlook to life and you are grateful, and I'm sure things will work out for you.

I have low self-esteem in informal social settings, but formally I think I have better self-esteem. Maybe because I perform better in structured situations as I don't like spontaneity and unpredictability.

I asked you about the master degree, because I have an advanced degree, but I still struggle to find a job. I'm not sure what your field is and how the job market is where you live, but in engineering an advanced degree isn't a plus in the industry where I live. Maybe in academia, but it's very competitive here. I'm not discouraging you by any means, just telling you my experience.

I too keep toxic family members on distance, including my parents, as much as I can. It's better for both sides I think.

Good luck in your job hunting and in finding someone with whom you connect