Thanks for your reply,something similar occurred to me,back then in the past were some of the worst times of my life,I used to imagine my future self communicating with me back then from the future ,reassuring me ,telling me that what I am going through now,then,will be over and I will be safe and ok and nothing I am worrying about now,then,will matter very soon.It helped me through the nightmare of the past.

I have only ever looked forward to the future as bright,I am working on ways to have confidence in the present.Writing the above post helped a lot tonight,to get old wounds out of my system,you can't ignore painful memories,something in the present inevitably triggers you and they come flooding back and with PTSD which I have the emotions are real like you are only just having them and they can be so painful and crippling.What I thought was deep depression was past emotions processing the past and shinning them old wounds into the light of the present.Part of me needs to know the past is over and even those old memories and emotions can't continue to hurt me in the present.
I acknowledge the truth of this.

The present,making new friends I can do that successfully,all I need to do is to remain positive in my thinking and seek positive experiences and refuse to let other more competitive people get to me.This isn't so hard because at one time when I was much younger,age 16,I was very sociable, warm, friendly,positive,confident and competent,and I had people like me and lean on me.
So I think if I can choose to see time as a figure eight spiralling upwards consisting mainly of successes and good times,and shining a light on the present it may help me see the past bad memories at the bottom of the spiral and good times going up the spiral with only more good times to come.That helps a lot.

In times of positivity all pain and fear are viewed as illusions.FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing REAL>It is hard to hold onto this when in the grip of an emotional painful memory,but I am going to have these threads and posts to read back and refer to,I am sure I will get through this and can go forward with my foundations to build a new social life.

Thanks though Bearguardian your suggestion helps a lot.